Thursday, August 28, 2003
ugh. just had the weirdest most awkward conversation with him. u know who... i dont know y but i just feel that we're getting so distant... im just too tired n always turn him down... n then we talk fer a short while only... i dont know what i shld do now... i know he'll read this sometime... im sorry i let u down like that... u know how bad i feel now... i just dont know what to think now... never really felt this lost... nowadays ive been so irritable... everything is just stupid n irritating in my eyes... nothing really matters much anymore does it? mayb cos its that time.... but still... i have been feeling this uncomfortable for some time already... this thing just adds on to it... i wish i wasnt such a discriminating person... n i wish i could just appreciate the person i know will always be there... hes such a sweet guy... sometimes he can just be so silly n strange but the fact that hes such a patient n obliging person attracts me... not many guys have that quality u know... looking at the guys i know at the moment anyway... n hes cute too... n i am rarely able to hold a proper conversation with a guy. so far hes the only one who makes me feel like i can just be myself. besides my girlfriends n family... i feel weird ard guys but not with him... but i just feel that im neglecting him... a whole lot. i never thought id be such a mean person... dont get the wrong idea... i dont usually do this.you are a loser at 10:40 PM
