Tuesday, June 06, 2006
sometimes i wonder if its worth it. putting myself out there in such a vulnerable position again. its silly really... if you think about it. cos i know the outcome is pretty much usually the same. i'm not exactly the risk taking sort either, but i guess i don't have much of a choice. i'm hoping all these irrational fears that have been bogging me down for the past few days go away soon. i'm such a worry wart!. URGH. jealousy and insecurity are horrible horrible things. they suck all the energy out of you leaving u feeling empty and awful. i have this tendency to get too dependent on someone after spending so much time together and i really don't want that to happen again. i wonder what happened to that 'independent woman' mantra that i wanted to live by. so i'm going to take this opportunity to spend quality time with myself and do pretty much whatever i want to do... like... study for psychology! listen to my clubbing music as loud as i want. and maybe squeeze in a little maple if time permits. this time i will make a proper attempt to achieve decent exam results to make up for the past year's flop. sometimes my own mediocrity scares me man.i feel like going for a run later. the weather's wonderful. and there are so many other things that i feel like doing!!!having the whole afternoon and evening alone to do ANYTHING. i just came back from jp. and i'm really sad that they took my favourite teriyaki chicken don, took away the tempura, added some other weird pickle/radish/whacchamacalit stuff. and the worse thing? they made it .40 more expensive! booohooo. i'm gonna cook my own dinner tonight cos i'm very very sick of eating out. prob gonna make salad. butterhead lettuce, tuna (in mineral water), ham and cheese! and then for the main course theres pasta with ricotta and spinach with pecorino cheese sauce! hahaha. yay. i feel very excited already ... :D
you are a loser at 2:08 PM
